Girl, you’re here! You are in the “club” that you’ve been waiting to be apart of your entire life. You are engaged! The one your soul has been longing for – the one who you visualize hanging each individual star in the sky every night when you close your eyes. The one who put aside all personal endeavors, selflessly kneeled before you and asked for your hand, your heart, your life in marriage. “Yes versus no” wasn’t even a question in your mind. You erupted with excitement! “YES, ONE THOUSAND TIMES YES!” AND that ring *heart eyes*! You have on your Fiancé hat from your “Hats of a Bride” collection now.
Of course you have to take pictures of the ring to post! *snap snap* You have to tell everyone. “What will my mom say!? Will my dad cry? Will my best friend scream? Or does she already know? Did she help plan this!?” “Maybe I am the only one who didn’t know.” *snap snap* “Wow my hands are shaking!”
Phone calls roll in, texts begin to ping your phone, likes, comments, & DMs begin lovingly pour into your notifications. This is the moment you have been waiting for. Whether you like attention directed on you or not, this is the time that you feel it is more than appropriate. You officially get to express your love to the world.
Your momma calls you three times per day to check in on you, your best friends send you pins on Pinterest every hour, and your own mind is running on prayers and caffeine every second of everyday. You start to realize that being a Bride (to be) is exhausting! You are trying to balance being a fiancé, a daughter, a friend, a student, a co-worker, a (fur) mom, a future in-law, and yes, even an acquaintance. Now you are adding on being a planner for your own wedding. Which “hats of a bride” will you be wearing today? This is such an adventure, one that probably terrifies you in the most riveting ways! Exchanging all these different emotions, opinions, and duties can be quite a balancing act. Well, don’t worry sis, we got you! We have chosen four of the most emotionally demanding relationships you have while planning your wedding. Of course there are SO many more, but in our experience, these are the ones that truly heighten a bride’s (stress, tissue consumption, caffeine, etc.) levels.
“Honey, what do you think about these colors together? I think they’re gorgeous!” you ask. He replies “as long as it makes you happy, sweetheart!” We know our guys just want us to be happy by all means, but honestly we know they aren’t sure if those black lanterns at the end of the head table with moody floral around them will be the best aesthetic for your wedding, and we don’t hold that against them. We totally know that making your wedding day a visual representation of your love is the goal, and you want everyone to see how illuminating it is!
We get it. There is a A LOT of pressure that falls in that, and on you to make those decisions. However, just rest your hat on knowing that no matter what those shoes look like under your dress (you know, the ones that are hidden by your gorgeous gown), he will still love you. Make sure you take a breath and remember he’s your rock, your dry ground to stand on when you’re tired. So – rest.
“Momma I love you, and I loved your dress on you in the 1970s, but I just don’t feel like it is my vibe for 2021…” “Dad, please just look at the veil on me…not the price tag.” Gal, we KNOW how hard it can be to plan a wedding with your family. They usually have the strongest and most influential opinions of what your big day should entail. In other words, their voices are the deepest of oceans – vast, powerful, and never ending. This can be terrifying for a bride. So much pressure to please everyone, and to have elements from every family member’s opinion.
However, just because the ocean can be intimating at it deepest points, oh, how beautiful it is when it meets the shore line. Not only have you been looking forward to these days your entire life, but so has your family. They offer these thoughts and actions not based on selfish motives, but to put forth the dream they have envisioned for you since you came into their lives. Cherish these opinions, as they have been created and protected for more years prior to you.
Wowza, talk about an influential group of people! The pals you have relied on for their honesty. To have them choose between “red heels or tan booties with this dress?”, “Ok, but what emoji should I send with this text to him…?”, and “Should I have one more tequila sunrise?”. They have been there for the nitty-gritty decisions, ones that you couldn’t fully explain to your mother. These girls are your comfort when your crush didn’t text you back, your backbone when you are being taken advantage of, and your biggest fan group when you have life wins (because we all need another reason to pop the bubbly)!
But, how do your corral them all into your corner? At this time in your life they will all express their love for you through how they think your wedding should look. Much like your family, they have been waiting for these moments for a long time. They envision your wedding day just as much as you do. They dream with you!
The only sticky thing is, most of them either aren’t married yet and have grand envisions of how they want THEIR wedding to play out, and this will display their opinions onto your day, or they are married, and they have reflections on what they should or should not have done for their wedding. Don’t let these moments discourage you! They mean everything they do and say out of love for you! You never know, they might have some of the best ideas since honey & cinnamon in a lattè. As long as they have eyelashes on, a drink in hand, and their friend/sister standing beside them on the best day of her life, all of the other details will melt away.
Yes, you heard us right…acquaintances. Anyone who has planned, or is in the process of planning a wedding knows these can be tricky! How do you tell your freshman year roommate’s boyfriend’s cousin that they aren’t invited to your wedding, because well, you don’t know them? Or how do you break the news to your future mother-in-law, who is sweeter than pie, that your fiancé’s little league coach from Mighty Mini’s baseball team just isn’t in the budget.
Well, as heartbreaking it can be to deny someone an invitation to your wedding, you can hang your hat on a couple comforting factors. One, even if you have an endless budget, you are not made of money, and inviting everyone and their brother that you and your fiancé have ever known is going to add undesired stress beyond your limit. Two, you are not the only person telling these individuals “no;” your family, friends, and fiancé will gracefully break the news to them if it arrises in conversation. It does not come back to you personally. Three, in this day and age we have outstanding photographers and videographers that are able to record your day seamlessly. These “un-invitors” will be able to live out your day with you with easy by a few clicks of a button!
Whether you pick a tiara, a Texas cattleman, a ball cap, or a sombrero (arriba!), we recommend you choose one. You are always a daughter, a friend, a student, but only once in your life do you get to be a bride. Stand firm in your confidence, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. That’s what we are here for! Our sole job is providing all attention to you and your planning. We as planners + designers want to round up all of those glorious visions and turn it into a day that you (& your fiancé & family & friends &…you get it) will fall in love with. You got this girl!
Your Chestnut Ridge Planners
P.S. Those black lanterns at the ends of the head table with moody floral around them will look bomb!